Avast, ye scurvy dogs of the ink-trade! There’s a foul, sulfurous wind blowing from the North, and it smells of spray-tan, gunpowder, and the heavy bo...

Gather 'round, ye scallywags, ledger-keepers, and rum-soaked deckhands! The Gilded Commodore has seen fit to unleash a broadside that’ll shake the ver...

Avast, ye scurvy dogs and ink-stained wretches! Gather ‘round the barrel, for the Great Orange Privateer, Donald of the House of Trump, has cast his c...

Listen up, ye scurvy dogs, armchair admirals, and ink-stained wretches of the shoreline. If ye thought the Red Sea was only good for dodging Houthi fi...

Avast, ye salt-crusted scallywags and ink-stained wretches! Gather 'round the grog tub, for a foul wind blows from the direction of the Florida strait...

Avast, ye scurvy dogs of the press and ink-stained wretches! Gather ‘round the grog barrel, for the winds of the Atlantic howl with the scent of gunpo...

Avast, ye salty dogs, ledger-keepers, and map-room rats! The winds are shifting, and they smell of fresh ink and old blood. Word has drifted from the ...

Avast, ye scurvy dogs of the press and ink-stained wretches of the digital tide! The winds are shifting, and they reek of old-world gunpowder and new-...

Gather 'round, ye salt-crusted bilge-rats and scurvy-ridden ink-stained wretches! Captain Iron Ink here, and I bring tidings that’ll make your gold te...

By the powers, the seas around the Persian Gulf be churnin' like a shark-frenzy in a blood-tub! For twenty-eight suns now, the common sailors of that ...

Avast, ye scurvy dogs and paper-pushers alike! Take heed, for the quill-drivers at the International Monetary Fund have emerged from their ink-sta...

Avast, ye ink-stained wretches and bilge-rats! Gather 'round the galley fire, for the winds have shifted, and they smell of fresh parchment and old ga...

Ahoy, ye land-lubbing quill-drivers and salt-crusted deckhands! There be a foul wind blowing from the Potomac, and it reeks of gold leaf and gunpowder...

Gather 'round, ye ink-stained wretches, scallywags, and bilge-rats! Your Captain has been poring over the latest dispatches from the Great Ink-Stained...

Avast, ye scurvy dogs! The horizon is darkening with the clouds of a Transatlantic Trade War, and the salt-spray is turning bitter enough to curdl...

Avast, ye salt-crusted scallywags and ink-stained bilge rats! Gather ‘round the mainmast, for the winds blowing from the Persian Gulf carry the stench...

Avast, ye landlubbers and ledger-keepers! There be a foul wind blowing from the West, and it smells of spray-tan and protectionism. The Great Orange P...

Gather 'round, ye bilge-rats, merchant lords, and ink-stained wretches, for the Great Western Galleon has gone blind-drunk on its own gunpowder. The n...

Avast, ye salt-crusted dogs, ink-stained wretches, and ledger-keepers of the high seas! Gather 'round the rum barrel, for the Great Orange Privateer, ...

Avast, ye scallywags, ledger-keepers, and salt-stained wretches of the deep! Captain Iron Ink is dipping his quill in the blackest bile this side of T...