
The Red Dragon’s Hoard Drowns the Seven Seas As the Yankee Sloop Sinks
Ahoy, ye miserable deck-scrubbers and ink-stained wretches! Gather ‘round the grog barrel and lend an ear, for the winds of the world-market be shiftin’ faster than a smuggler fleein’ a navy cutter in a gale. The great leviathan we once called the United States has lost the wind in its sails, its cannons lookin’ more like rusted pipes than the instruments of thunder they once were. While the Yankee merchants bicker over who holds the rudder and which way the current flows, a new beast has risen from the Eastern mists with a hunger that would make a kraken blush. The Dragon’s treasury is overflowin’ with so many doubloons it’s causin’ a tidal wave that’s fixin' to capsize every workshop from here to Tortuga.
I’m talkin’ about that monstrous trade surplus comin’ straight out of Beijing. They be pumpin’ out more crates of steel, silicon, and cheap baubles than a cursed ghost ship in a nightmare. This ain’t just trade, ye scallywags—it’s a blockade of the mind and the forge! By floodin’ every port from the Indies to the Americas with goods priced lower than a tavern wench’s smile, they be stranglin’ the life out of every blacksmith, weaver, and shipwright in The West. The smoke stacks of the old world are goin’ cold, not because the fire died of its own accord, but because the Dragon’s flood has quenched the coals to cinders.
"I seen it with me own good eye," croaked Quartermaster Quid, spittin’ a glob of tobacco into the leakin' bilge. "The docks in the Global South be piled high with red-stamped crates, while the local lads can’t even sell a hand-forged nail to save their souls. It’s economic piracy, Captain! They’re scuttlin’ our very livelihoods without hirin’ a single mercenary or firin’ a shot across the bow." Old Quid speaks the truth, bitter as it may be. When one nation holds the keys to all the world’s factories, the rest of us are naught but cabin boys beggin’ for scraps of hardtack at the master's table.
The carnage is widespread and the water is rising. The Manufacturing Sector in Europe is lookin’ like a ship that’s run aground on a jagged reef during a black moon. We used to be a world of makers, of builders, of men who could forge their own destiny with a hammer and a sturdy anvil. Now, we’re a world of middle-men and debt-collectors, hopin’ the Dragon doesn’t decide to close its golden maw and leave us all adrift. Even the bravest admirals of industry are tremblin’ in their boots, finally realizin’ that the "Free Trade" they once toasted in their fine parlors has become the very noose that’s pullin’ tight around their necks.
So, batten down the hatches and hide your silver, for the charts are bein’ redrawn by a master who don't care for our old laws of the sea. The era of the Star-Spangled merchant is fadin’ into the crimson sunset, and we’re enterin’ a fog where the Dragon’s fire is the only light we’ve got left to steer by. It’s an ominous horizon, mates. If we don’t find a way to patch the holes in our own hulls and fire up our own forges again, we’ll all be speakin’ a different tongue and bowin’ to a different kind of Emperor before the next moon rises. Prepare for a lean season, for the surplus of one is the starvation of the rest!
Captain Iron Ink
Scallywag Gazette Seal